Citizen Radio

Guys, I feel terrible. I have besmirched the good name of one, Don Lemon. That was NOT him in FDA plate segment I described on one of the last shows. I'm currently trying to figure out who it was. MY BAD.

can we get these notifications sooner, so I don't accidentally send out cartons of cow innards to Don Lemon's address at CNN with the inscription "enjoy ya protein assclown". In hindsight I should have just sent a sharply worded letter/email.

We're very lucky Donald is a nice man with a good sense of humor. And handsome. And an adonis among mere mortals. *sweats litigious bullets*

Listen, Don Lemon is gay and I'm gay. Can I forgive you for him through the commutative power of gay.
*showers you in rainbows*
Bam! Forgiven!

This is now the "What has Don Lemon done?" thread.

One time I saw him rescue a kitten that was stranded in a tree.

Little known fact... he singlehandedly ended the Vietnam War.

He invented the Pride parade AND discovered quinoa.

When that giant asteroid was hurtling towards Earth, guess who stopped it. And you may be ready to tell me that this situation has, thankfully, never actually occurred. My response to you is that Don Lemon is a very humble man.

It's the look-alikes, isn't it?

I have relatives who have my face.

Most people don't know how average-looking they are.

TJ Holmes and Don Lemon do have similar looks. Look it up.

In fairness, they don't really look alike. I must have been blinded by my psychotic running rage. I forgot TJ Holmes is a person, and a CNN host, so I assumed it was Don. It's entirely my fault.

Also, one time, Don Lemon fought a lion and an aligator...AT THE SAME TIME.

God DAMN IT. I went through the trouble of forging a friend's newborn's birth certificate to make their first name "Fuck Don Lemon In His Stupid, Stupid Ass". Thanks for the fake information, Judas.

ALSO TOO HIS NAME IS NOT DONALD. It's Don Lemon, or Sir Don Lemon. He kindly explained this to me via Twitter.